Life A Puppet.

All these years... I've been controlled. Unlike Pinocchio, I have strings on me. They're invisible but there. I thought I was human but no. I have always been the little wooden figurine with strings attached on me. I thought I would be myself if I behaved well enough. But no, I was too naive, manipulated by others for certain uses. I need freedom. My freedom... Give it to me! Why won't you let me go? All these years, I was the slave, the little worker, the one working behind curtains... I wasn't acknowledged... Just-to-please-all-of-you. Having many different strings to represent many different masters and every single part of me has it's little job to do. Everyone only comes for me when they need something. It's always something. I question myself everyday. Why me? Why not others/ Why ME? Only me.. I need answers to my questions. I try to find for answers all the time. But I can't find it. Is it because it's me? My looks? My body? My status? Or is it the fact that you people, no animals feel the fun in torturing and manipulating me, taking advantage of my kindness, MY kindness. Well, let me tell you something: I am not as weak as you think I am. I may be nothing to your eyes now but wait... just wait. Because you people would have nothing but your body and soul because you only know how to get what you want and need from manipulating others. I shall rise up. WE all shall rise up and defeat useless manipulative idiots as you. Just wait. We won't ever need your acknowledgements or a pat on the head for serving you because we are stronger than we look. So buddies out there who feel manipulated, sick of this shit we got into, let's all rise up. And discontinue this life as a puppet.

This Girl

There once was a girl. She has always lived in the shadows ever since her heart was broken by her family and a young boy she love whole heartedly. Ever since losing faith and trust towards her family and love, she started hating everyone else. A person could say that love was once brought to her, but later taken away by her source of love itself. Her presence wasn't important to anyone but herself... A person once said to her, "You are always and forever in your own world, you shall remember that the world doesn't entirely revolves around you." after hearing those words, she broke down entirely and wept her heart out. But soon, she realised that she doesn't exactly need the words of other people to continue living in this dark and dull world and that she could enjoy life perfectly well without other people blocking her desired path. She soon vowed to never trust anyone again and that she would rather live lonely than have people by her side and leave later.
------
Years past as the girl lived her dark and lonely life. She was constantly busy from her own work and never once thought about revisiting her old life. She worked uniformly, suffering inside, wasting her youth. Other people would look at her and think to themselves that this lady was a workaholic leaving family and loved ones alone.. But they were wrong! It was HER family who abandoned her, left her soul to die.. It was them. But who would care what she said? No one! Exactly, no one at all. To her, the dark life was nice. Waking up to the surrounding darkness everyday was pleasure to her. She used to hate the darkness but was already loving it because it was her only family now, beside her, caring for her. It was the ultimate darkness loving her over and over again everyday.
------
 One day, she finally thought of going to see her so called family. They were still living in same house and as she saw her parents, they looked happy as if nothing had happened previously and they were hugging a girl at the age she left her home. She was smiling happily holding on to her parents. The girl couldn't hold in her anger and clenched her fists so tightly her knuckles turned white. Soon, the house that was filled with laughter and warm, cosy light, changed to a series of screams, stifled ones and darkness. Unconsciously she started smiling as she finally realised her capability of such power.  She went away from her old house and went back. She continued doing her daily routine and watched the news. Her "family's" death was reported. The case was stated for murder but they couldn't find any evidence on it. Years went on normally with many more other murder cases at this time, the girl who was innocent was never innocent any more and had many other people or should I say... demons alongside her. There would be at least 10 murder cases each month and was under the category of unsolved cases... But who would have thought that it was a mere women who did all these cruel and brutal murders... but of course it wasn't her own hands. It was her pawns who did her dirty job for her.
 ------

Days, weeks, months and years passed the girl was never said to be seen and she was gone. It was true that she had vowed to never believe in love. She continued like this. Days went on, trees withered, people died, and she was gone too... But her power did not, people continued to die, mysteries left unsolved. LOTS of them. People who tired to bother, or get close to her would die within three days of unknown causes. People investigated her and died of blood loss with scratches everywhere around their body... Though there are some places known to be where she would sit and enjoy the surroundings. Find her if you would dare to. She was said to sense peoples fears, she was even said to be able to read minds. Feeling afraid yet? But there's more...  It was true was suddenly gone but later she was said to be working with the newspaper company and loved writing stories. And one day, her administrative got angry with her and started cursing her but she kept her calm and that made her boss even more ticked off. He got even angrier but she looked at him with cold and piercing eyes like she was looking through his soul. A few moments later, the boss started coughing and was chocking blood out. The other workers panicked and called an ambulance, by the time the ambulance came.. it was already too late for the boss had already died. He was sent for an autopsy and was said that his death was of unknown reasons. Soon, she was gone again. Stories of her continued but she was never said to be seen ever again... 

-HUNCHES-

Don’t you ever feel a hunch before doing something sometimes? What if all those hunches we got were actually an earlier warning from our future self telling us to not follow the wrong path and do the right stuff the right way? I mean, have you ever taught of that.. don’t you feel it too? At times before we do something there’s sure to have at least a small hunch on something before we get to the stuff. It’s either bad or good or probably both! Based on what I experience and feel, 90% of the hunches are mostly true. I don’t know if that works for the rest of you people but that’s for you guys to find out yourselves. Sometimes I get a really bad feeling about doing something and I immediately change my mind about doing it. Honestly saying, I don’t know if these hunches could be considered as sixth sense or simply because of sensitivity or just my mind playing tricks on me.. I guess, that’s for YOU to decide.. as I have said earlier, it may also be our future selves telling us about the dangers ahead and are giving us warnings so we don’t mess up. I know it’s kind of hard for us to just listen and follow our hunches but don’t we all get that feeling sometimes like, “Damn! I should have done that/not done that” or simply just biting back curses on the things we regret doing. Well, we all have hunches at times and I am pretty much sure I am not the only one.. Maybe they’re even called survival instincts or what not and again, that’s for YOU to decide. Well, these stuff had always been a mystery to me and maybe some other people. Anyway, this will be the end of my crap. I hope everything that I have written could be digested by YOU the person reading this. Thank you.

Grasp Of Hell

           Feed your fears. With darkness for the the darkness may provide the energy to increase your fear. It knows... It knows what you fear and what you despise of the most. You can't run you know... the more you try to run, the faster it reaches you. You think you can escape it's grasp? You're wrong! Absolutely not. It is here, it is everywhere..You are stuck and sinking deeper into it's grasp. It is deeper than the pits of Tartarus. Tartarus is of a place where the worst of monsters are being held captive and there shall be where you feed your fears for the even the Goddess Nyx won't be able to handle the darkness...

THE BRIGHTNESS CAN KILL TOO

      I wish your brightness touched every part of me. That brightness that will be able to turn the place into the brightest one. Now, it's like a spotlight shining only on  a spot making the others' beside it the darkest to ever survive. If only... If only the whole place was lit up, touched, by the light. Part of me is still covered by the dark. Untreated, sick and cold. It was all fogged up around me, because the darkness was too dark that it became eerily cold, it froze everything else.    

                         ---                         

"Feed your fears..." I heard. It was a whisper echoing through my head...

"Feed me.. with the darkness.." I thought to myself.. I was wondering whether they were voices in my head, or my hallucinations. I'm feeling afraid now that the darkness is slowly eating me up. Slowly.. slowly dying alone...                               

The memory of her will remain

She was merely only a 16 year old teen. Her future was bright. She had many opportunities for everything. Her death was such a loss for the world, the nation, and her family. Especially her family. She wasn’t noticed until her death was revealed by the police. She had still been in the missing list till the day an officer arrived at the doorstep of her family on information for her. Her parents grieved for her. They CRIED for her! They cried to their hearts content. Alas, her soul rested in peace as they rest the remains of her body that was already half eaten by the wild deep in the forest 6 feet underground. Then in front of her resting place was the tombstone with a flower placed beside. Before her father who was a faithful father left, he had said "The memory of her will remain my dear wife." And so, her parents left.

Suffocating in the midst of darkness

Thursday,3.9.2015

   When exactly can I wake up from all these havoc? A dream that haunts me for my fear. I want to be free, free from all these pain dwelling up in me. I'm starting to get sick of all the hatred from people around me, the source to all the negativity in my soul... I can feel it RISING! Eating me up slowly..Slowly fading away.. 

    The darkness is starting to cover everything up. I can barely see my own hands from this mere distance.In this darkness it feels cold, quiet, lifeless, and, depressing, and... lifeless.. I feel my fear...They say find for the light and let it guide you... but nothing seems to want to guide me. Everyone and everything gave up on me..I am suffocating, already dying in search for a light. But, I will wait.. I WILL wait patiently. Wait for it to get brighter and save me from all this, everything! I will...

---

   I awaken from the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, as the birds chirp to the playful shrieks and the wonderful laughter of children playing. Is this the reality? Is.. Is all these real? Am I perhaps... hallucinating? I question myself, In that moment I felt a midst of happiness...... But all those wonderful sound of nature slowly changed. It CHANGED! From the sweet laughter of children laughing to the screams of terror and torture the sickly sweet fragrance of honeysuckles and lavender changed to the rusty metallic smell of blood. The sound of water dripping perhaps..blood dripping. I wondered where I was, my eyes were covered.. no blindfolded by something. Perhaps a piece of cloth.. It smelled horrible. I felt a sharp pain, but I couldn't find the source of and decided not to think about it. My whole body felt weak and painful. I wonder how long have I been stuck and unconscious here? But I realized I still had a lot to wonder about. I feel so helpless, full of questions, and my curiousness of everything. I tried struggling to break free and was using too much energy it made me tired. I probably made too much noise because I heard the sound of footsteps, really hollow and heavy ones.. I hear the sound of chains.. metal ones, gong across the floor at a really slow pace. At that instant moment fear came rushing through me and my heart was beating fast. I stopped struggling, pretending I was already dead. I hope it helped... As my consciousness took hold of me, I knew I was hanged on something, I was upside down.. I felt something wet trickling across my forehead. I tasted blood, and felt my throat tightening. My mouth felt drier than the Saharan desert. The footsteps are back.. Someone is hear. Is it my turn to die? I don't want to die yet.. but... I can't do anything.....